Fairy
by GorensGirl
Summary: MWPP fourth year oneshot. Sirius and James are getting suspicious about Remus.


Fairy 

_by Z. E. Grockle_

Summery: MWPP fourth year oneshot. Sirius and James are getting suspicious about Remus.

Disclaimer: The plot and Beth Concannon is mine; everything else is JK's.

Rating: PG, due to references to homosexuality, which may offend some people. I won't tell you what I have to say to those people.

Pairings: RL/OC

/\/\/\/\

"Sooo, Lupin…what's up?"

Remus looked up from his Potions homework and saw that his two best friends were standing at the edge of his bed, both with very peculiar expressions on their faces. James had posed the question, and was now looking at something interesting on his shoe, while Sirius seemed to be pretending he was somewhere far, far away; somewhere with a pool, preferably.

"Er, nothing, really. Why?"

James was now examining at a spot on the ceiling (until Sirius elbowed him in the side, then he started coughing nervously).

"Well…we were just wondering if you'd found a girlfriend yet?" James said when he was through with his coughing fit. Sirius began whistling softly under his breathe.

"No, not yet."

"Not that you need, one, y'know, if you, y'know, prefer not to," James blurted in a rush. "I mean, if you're, er…busy…or want…other things…that's cool too."

Now he seemed to be waiting for an answer. Even Sirius had come out of la-la land and was giving him that fixed gray look he had. Since he seemed to be the more lucid of the two, Remus turned to him for translation. "Sirius, what is he talking about?"

Sirius frowned as though his friend should know this already, and was just delaying. "Well, I'm not sure either, mind you, but I believe what he's trying to spit out is, 'it's alright with us if you're a fairy'."

"A what?" Remus exclaimed, astonished.

"Oh, sorry, is that offensive?" Sirius asked, though not as though he cared.

"Well, yes, actually," Remus stuttered, trying to work through his initial shock. They thought he was-. "But, I'm not."

"Oh, good, I didn't mean to be rude to you," Sirius said.

"No, I mean, I'm not gay," Remus claimed in objection.

"Well, okay, then…" James said. Remus looked from one doubting face to the other.

"No, really, I like girls. I like-" he broke off, blushing.

"You've got a crush?" James asked. "Who on?"

"I really-"

"No, c'mon, give," Sirius whined, sounding like a girl begging for the latest juicy gossip.

"We'll tie you down and use a Tickle Charm on you if you don't," James warned.

"Beth Concannon," Remus mumbled, very quietly, so they had to ask him to repeat it.

"She's cute," Sirius said when he had. "And you two have been friends since you were little. Why haven't you asked her out?"

"And don't tell me you're afraid of being rejected," James added, circling around to sit on the left side of the bed. "I'm, like, the king of rejection, and it's not so bad, once you get used to it. Of course, I wish she'd say yes just once, but-"

"We're talking about Remus' problem, right now, James. And if you start describing Evans' hair again-"

"Okay, okay. So what should we do about Remus' problem?" James asked, and Sirius circled to the other side of the bed, where he and James had a whispered discussion over Remus' quilt. He was starting to feel a bit trapped.

"No, really, guys, she doesn't think of me like that at all, I don't need any help."

"Zip it, Lupin," James told him.

"We're getting you your first kiss before your fifteenth birthday, and there's nothing you can do about it," Sirius added, a devious flash in his eye. "But first, Quidditch practice."

"Oh, right," James said, rolled off the mattress, and followed him to the dormitory door. At the doorway, he stopped short as Sirius turned around suddenly.

"Going to come watch?" the later asked.

"No, thanks," Remus told him. "I've got to finish this homework."

James rolled his eyes, and Sirius looked disbelieving. As his friend turned to stomp downstairs after James, Remus just made out his mutter: "Fairy."

/\/\/\/\

I've forgotten the title and author now, of course, but this was inspired by a fic (Remus/Tonks, I think) in which Remus remembers when Snape called him a fairy once, and Sirius punched him and told him that the only one that got to call Remus a fairy was him (Sirius). So whoever wrote that, thank you.

Indecently, I don't write slash only because I think I'd be bad at it. I read it all the time, but in my ficdom, Remus is straight, not gay, and not bi. There's no denying that he is a bit of a metrosexual, though.


End file.
